My husband has always had a bit of an obsession with foreign languages. I grew up in Wales so he constantly harasses me for translations. When a new lad started at the place where Stig works, and Stig discovered that the said man was welsh, he couldn't wait to try out his new found lingo.
The resulting conversation didn't go to plan...
What Stig tried to say was "Are you coming for a brew you c***?" Cool but friendly despite the use of the C word, and this offer of friendship may have been welcomed if it weren't for the fact that what he actually said was "I'm going for a brew with myself, you hairy caterpillar". The welshman now avoids him like the plague and has a faintly worried look whenever Stig enters the room.
This afternoon Stig has discovered a translation website. A very useful little tool where you type in what you want to say, then choose the language in which you want the phrase to be repeated back to you. I have been subjected over the last two hours to Stig's take on the German accent, shrieking phrases like "Where is the toilet, I've shit myself".
I'm taking notes for my appointment with the divorce lawyer.