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Hayes House Pages

Thursday 21 March 2013

Greetings!

So it's been a while. I haven't dropped off the face of the earth, but I don't seem to have a lot to say these days (Stig would disagree I'm sure). Think it's a case of writers block. Anyway, the news in brief...

The latest addition to the family is Sonny the chipmunk. It being Hayes House he is no ordinary chipmunk. He has one ear missing which I think affects his balance somewhat a he's not quite as agile as you would expect and keeps falling off things as if drunk. That, however, does not stop him from climbing to the highest shelf in our bedroom and dive-bombing the bed when I'm sleeping in it. He's the sweetest thing though and we all love him. Except Stig, who has learnt to tolerate him, not least because Sonny seems to have a man/chipmunk crush on him, he prefers Stig to the rest of us which I will never understand.

Both the girls are now in years seven and eight of high school (that's first and second year to anyone over thirty). Charlie is in reception and adored by all, cute as a button and he knows it. As has happened with all our children, his teacher has become the authority on everything and as a consequence he's come to consider his parents below the average five-year-old's intellectual level. We apparently know sod all about anything. He checks all information he finds dubious with his teacher before he is happy to accept our version and let us all get on with our lives until the next dispute occurs, which could be anything from whether the moon is made of cheese to why the chipmunk cannot be trained to pee in the toilet.

Sam is in year four and academically doing better than we could have hoped in some areas but he's finding life a struggle at the moment. We're working on things and hopefully in time, things will improve for him.

Stig is having some sort of mid life crisis. It's been going on a while. No longer content with putting brass handles on everything, he's now progressed to building a guitar from old melted beer cans. I could elaborate but I'd bore you to tears, as I have been for the last twelve months. It is almost finished and I have to concede, it is quite impressive, but not necessarily worth the drama it has bestowed on us.

I am still in the process of trying to get a life. It's a very slow process. I've decided that the foundation for everything is that I need to learn to drive. I've been attempting this on and off since I was seventeen and it's never gone well. More to come on that later, but suffice to say, when I regale you with tales of my driving (if you can call it that) antics, it will seriously make you reconsider going out on the roads amongst idiots like myself.

So that was thee news in not-so-brief. Hopefully it will not be another year before I find anything to say!