4am

I'm crabby. Why does everything in this house happen at 4am? Car alarms, sick children, the crescendo of Stig's ninety-decibel snoring, the list is endless. Given the regular interruptions of my sleep I think my bladder has duly synchronised itself because even on the rare nights that the house is quiet, I still have to get up to pee. Even the bloody mouse decided to rearrange her furniture at four o' clock this morning.

If the answer to life, the universe, and everything is 42, then the secret to Hayes' House appears to be 4am!